The Life of a Crack Egg

The Crack Egg

After Egg Sheeran became aware of our campaign, he was eager to get involved and increase awareness of the need to save all eggs from persecution and eggsecution, and it has led to a collaboration between Eggan Box and Egg Sheeran with a remix of the hit ‘The A team’ now being called the ‘The Egg Team’.

Make sure to give a check and please hit the like box on the top right hand side of the page for Facebook to help support the campaign!

The Face of Eggdiction

The hard boiled life of a crack egg

So as you now know, my family was killed in some horrific pagan sort of tradition called ‘breakfast’. Although I managed to escape that fate, I was never able to escape that day in my mind. I was haunted by the thought of frying pans and whisks and the terrible end that my family had met. So in my late teens and early twenties, I turned into a crack egg.

I stopped caring for myself or those around me. I was incapable of loving myself or others and pushed everyone away so that they were incapable of loving me. It was a difficult time. I turned to begging to get through the day in order to sustain my eggdiction.

I desperately wanted companionship so I got a dog to help fend away the loneliness of the streets; unfortunately he kept trying to eat me so I had to get rid of him. My only other friend was another crack egg named Egrome. He had been through some terrible ordeals in his time, including being half soft boiled before managing to get away. The incident left him mentality scarred and unable to trust another pot of water again.

They were desperate times indeed. People did not want to be near me; almost like I was diseased. Others saw me as the embodiment of failure and used it to bolster and reaffirm their own success, almost as if seeing me had confirmed that each and every decision they had made in life was the right one, otherwise they would be where I was.

I began to feel a wave of paranoia sweeping over and drowning me. Everyone was eggainst me. Everyone was eggjoying my suffering. I began to view the world with a strong and intense hatred.

I was alone.


I knew I needed help but I could’nt see a way out.

Just when I thought it was the end for me, a ray of light entered my life. A kind and beautiful crème egg by the name of Eggily saw beyond the dirt and the crack and saw a good egg inside. She helped me get back on my feet, brush off my shell and get into rehab. With her support I managed to get myself back together. I owe her my life, and now we are boyfriend and girlfriend and expecting our first mini egg soon!

Once I got clean I came back to the streets to find Egrome. If I had managed to get clean and kick the eggdiction, then I could help him do the same. Unfortunately it was too late and he was completely cracked. He is in a better place now.

Now we need your support to make sure no eggs end up in the same place as Egrome or me, on a downward spiral of self destruction. Help us by clicking the like box at the side of the screen or going to and let us put an end to egg persecution once and for all!

Oh and me and Eggily are as happy as ever 🙂

Eggan vs Cadbury

The Eggchange between Eggan and Cadbury’s

So as me and my girlfriend sat down to watch the eggs-factor, we saw a commercial that caused us a lot of concern and upset. It was completely uneggspected. It was the Cadbury’s Goo Games advert, if you haven’t seen it yet then please see below

As you can imagine, we was deeply distressed at the idea of innocent eggs being harmed in the making of this commercial, I mean it was like watching the opening scene of saving private ryan eggcept with eggs. We felt it was completely uneggseptable. So I decided to take it upon myself as a responsible egg to eggspress my concern.


From: Eggan Fox []

Sent: 23 January 2012 17:24

To: UK Press Office

Subject: Goo Games Query

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am writing to you today concerning a recent television commercial I have seen for your Cadbury’s Creme eggs, called the Goo games. I am personally eggstremely fond of Creme eggs, with my girlfriend being a proud Creme egg herself; so I am sure you can imagine our shock and distress when we sat down to watch ‘Eggs factor’ and saw as numerous Creme eggs were thrown into the air, blown up, popped and smashed whilst eggsclaiming in their final breaths, “gooo”.

As a young egg, I was constantly attempting to avoid being cracked, beaten, whisked, fried, scrambled or boiled and I had to watch as my family was taken from me and turned into a nutritious and key part of a full English breakfast. It was a highly traumatic eggsperience and is the driving force behind my ‘save the eggs’ campaign.

Believe me; I enjoy a good yolk as much as the next egg, but that is taking it to the eggstreme. My girlfriend and I are planning on having little mini Creme eggs of our own one day, and I dream of them growing up in a world where they do not have to worry about persecution or eggsecution. I feel it is therefore highly socially irresponsible of Cadbury’s to glorify and endorse the discrimination of eggs of any kind!

I greatly look forward to your response and thank you very much for your time.

If you would like to find out more about the ‘save the eggs’ campaign as well then please go to and

Kind regards,

Eggan Box

Campaigner for ‘Save All Eggs’

Egg White Lane, Egginburgh,

Eggland, EG3 6GG





I was eggstremely surprised when a member from the Cadbury’s Creme Egg team got back in contact with me. Juan-Egg got back in touch with me very quickly and eggsplained the campaign.




Subject: RE: Goo Games Query

Date: Tue, 24 Jan 2012 11:11:07 +0000

Dear Eggan

Thank you for your egg-mail. I read with egg-streme concern about your distress at seeing our ‘goo games’ creme egg ads and wish to draw to your eggtention that the ultimate in pleasure for a creme egg is to release his goo.

Creme eggs realize that they’re very best bit is the yummy white and yellow fondant and they just want to release it to the world so please be re-egg-sured that no eggs were harmed in the making of these ads.

Please visit our facebook page where you can help more creme eggs reach their ultimate aim in life and release their goo!

Thanks and goo-dbye

Juan-Egg Daily

The Creme Egg Team

Kraft Foods Europe Services GmbH – UK Branch

Cadbury House, Sanderson Road

Uxbridge, Middlesex, UB8 1DH

d +44 (0) 1895 615 461 m 07814 696676



Thanks to Cadbury’s quick response and reeggsurrance, me and Eggily felt far better about the commercial and advised Cadbury’s that, should they ever require any eggsperience from a egg, to give me a call.


Dear Juan-Egg,

Thank you very much for your response, I feel reeggsured that no harm came to any eggs and will eggsplain to my fellow eggs that the campaign was meant with good intentions, if not slightly misguided in its eggsectution.

I fully agree with you about Creme eggs being eggseptional, with my Creme egg girlfriend Eggily easily being the most sweet and scrumptious egg in the world. And we recently found out we have a mini Creme egg on the way which has made us both very eggstatic. I’ll be sure to send you a photo when the little one arrives.

If in the future you require any advice from an eggsperienced egg for your campaigns, I am happy to eggstend a helping hand so as not risk any condemnation from eggs worldwide.

I have also made sure to like the facebook page and will be sure to send my fellow eggs to the page from

Kind regards,

Eggan Box

Campaigner for ‘Save all Eggs’

Egg White Lane, Egginburgh,

Eggland, EG3 6GG





All in all, it was a great eggshange and eggstremely eggducational. Please keep updated with all of my eggsperiences and make sure to like the Facebook page 🙂

Me and Eggily on Holiday

Eggan: One egg and the will to survive

I am, as you might guess, an egg.  A normal egg just trying to get through the hustle and bustle of day to day life without cracking. My name is Eggan Box and this is my story.

I had a normal, happy childhood. I grew up with my mum, dad, two brothers and my crazy uncle in our family home in Egginburgh. My Father was a eggineer and my mother an eggtomologist and we had a happy, peaceful life.

Eggan's Upbringing

Top left to right: Mum and Dad. Bottom Bro, Me, Bro and Uncle

We shared many fun times. My father was a very reasonable and easy going egg. he was the one who taught me that it isn’t what is on the shell that matters, but yolk inside that counts. Me and my brothers used to spend a lot of time together as well, messing around and spending a lot of time playing on the eggs-box together.



Me and my bro playing the eggs-box


We had the spoons who lived next to us as well. The father spoon was much smaller than his wife who was a rather rotund spoon if I remember correctly. The only reason I remember that is because my father would also joke with him and say I wonder which is the big spoon and which is the little at night. I never really got it but we used to play with their children and were always having egg and spoon races.


Egg Sports day

Egg and Spoon race

It was a pretty average childhood. But this all changed one dreadful day. I remember it like it was yesterday. As we all awoke to what we believed would be any other normal day, we were snatched from our family home on the shelf. Our kidnappers talked among themselves as we waited to hear what our fates might be. I only managed to pick up one word on the wind as they spoke….. “breakfast”. That word still makes me sick to my yolk to this day.

My family in captivity

So I saw as one by one as my family was beaten, whisked, scrambled, fried and boiled. It was horrific. I managed to escape and have tried to start a new life but my mind always wonders back to that tragic day.

Uncle crazy Joe getting soft boiled

I later found out that this ‘breakfast ceremony’ was not an uncommon act and that these acts of aggression against eggs happen on a daily basis.

Since I escaped, it has left me to view the world with a certain disdain and now I am determined to save as many innocent eggs as I can. It is not all doom and gloom as you shall see. I have a wonderful girlfriend and some little eggs of my own on the way. I just pray for the day that need not be worried about becoming part of full English or a meringue. This blog will show how I am readjusting back to normality, getting on with my life and highlight the unspoken persecution of eggs and we need your help.

Please help save the eggs and like the facebook page!

Please, help save as many eggs as you can by liking the facebook tab and or going to the facebook page and help put a stop to this madness! and stay up to date on the twitter page!/saveeggs

Each like is a egg saved!